Words of Rebuke

Parshat Devarim 5770

Events taking place in Israel threaten to further disenfranchise non-Orthodox Jews.  We should not be afraid to offer loving rebuke backed up by real substance.

This Shabbat we begin reading from the Book of Deuteronomy – Sefer Devarim.  The entire book of dvarim consists of a series of sermons that Moses gave to us as we stood poised to take possession of the Land of Israel. 

In this first parsha of Sefer Dvarim, Moses recounts the long journey the people took through the wilderness.  He lists all the places where Israel encamped or where some significant event took place.  The parsha opens very simply: “Eile ha-dvarim asher diber Moshe el kol Yisrael…” These are the words that Moses spoke to all Israel…” On this verse, Rashi – the most important of the Medieval Biblical commentators – points out that the verse uses the word diber (spoke) rather than amar (said).  Rashi explains that the use of the word “spoke” means that by these words Moses was rebuking the people; and that the purpose of recounting all the stops along the way was to remind the people of all the times that they disobeyed God.  Rashi bases his comment on a principle set out in Midrash (Sifre) that notes that anywhere that the Torah uses the word diber (spoke) it indicates rebuke whereas the word amar connotes praise.  Rashi goes on to say that the reason Moses only recounts the places and not each sin committed in those places was in order to not shame the people.  In other words, Moses wanted the Israelites to remember all the setbacks along the journey, but didn’t want to rub their faces in it.

            From this instance of gentle reproof we learn some Jewish principles of loving rebuke.  The first thing we learn is that criticism is necessary and important.  Without critique and expressions of disapproval, people don’t grow or improve.  The second lesson Moshe teaches us is that truly valuable rebuke comes out of love and sincere concern for the wellbeing of the other. 

            In Hebrew, the word for rebuke is tochecha.  And our ancient sages were very concerned with tochechah because, as important as rebuke is to our interpersonal relationships and a well functioning society, when done wrong it can be very destructive. 

            The Mishna – the compendium of Torah interpretation from the 2^nd century – recounts a discussion on the opening of our parsha.  In it, Rabbi Tarfon laments, “I doubt if there is anyone in this generation who is fit to give rebuke” because there is no one who is beyond reproach like Moses.  Rabbi Eleazar ben Azariah replies, “I doubt if there is anyone in this generation capable of receiving rebuke.”  Rabbi Eleazar observed that, unlike the Israelites who listened attentively to Moses, most people nowadays get defensive when they are criticized and are not able to hear rebuke as an act of love.  Then Rabbi Akiva adds a third opinion saying “I doubt if there is anyone in this generation who knows how to offer criticism.”  In other words, the problem isn’t that we lack people as righteous as Moses or as receptive as the Israelites, but rather that good tochecha is an art form that few people know how to practice.  Too often, we level criticism of others in order to feel superior or to humiliate.  Sometimes rebuke is really a veiled way of attacking our enemies.  On the other hand, tochecha done right starts from a place of genuine love and concern for others.  We offer reproof to the people we love because we want them to improve.  When you offer criticism with love and humility, it is not destructive but rather an act of affirmation and faith – it affirms that you care about the person you’re criticizing enough to be concerned for his or her behavior.  And, loving rebuke expresses faith that the person you are criticizing is capable of doing better. 

It is with this long preface that I now step with trepidation into the risky territory of tochecha with what I hope will be taken as loving rebuke. 

I have been preoccupied this week with two events that took place in Israel.  On Monday morning, Rabbi Anat Hoffman, a leader of Reform Judaism in Israel and Chair of a group known as Women of the Wall was arrested at the Kotel.  Since 1989, Women of the Wall has been meeting every Rosh Hodesh to pray at the Kotel.  Over the years, these women have been subjected to verbal and physical violence from haredi men for doing nothing more than praying quietly.  In a number of rulings, the Israeli Supreme Court has upheld the right of the women to pray at the kotel so long as they do not wear Tallitot or Teffilin and as long as they don’t chant from the Torah.   On Monday of this week, Rosh Hodesh Av, Rabbi Hoffman was arrested for merely holding a Torah, even though she was not in violation of the court’s ruling. 

            This incident, and other recent arrests of WOW members, has caused an enormous uproar among the leadership of the Reform, Conservative, and Reconstructionist movements because it is emblematic of an ongoing religious conflict within Israeli society and only the latest in a growing effort by the state-sponsored rabbinate to disenfranchise non-Orthodox and secular Jews. 

            The incident at the Kotel was closely followed by another troubling event.  On the same day, a Knesset committee approved a draft bill that, if passed, will cede greater authority to the Chief Rabbinate over conversions to Judaism.  Up to this point, conversion has been one of the few areas of Jewish life that the Chief Rabbinate does not control.  According to the status quo, any orthodox rabbi can perform conversions in Israel; and conversions performed by rabbis of any stripe outside of Israel must be recognized by the State for purposes of immigration and citizenship.  But, that has left a lot of Jews, especially immigrants from the Former Soviet Union in limbo.  Though they are recognized as Jewish citizens of Israel, they are not Jewish for purposes of marriage, divorce, and burial in Jewish cemeteries (because all of these areas are controlled by the chief rabbinate).  A Member of Knesset named David Rotem originally drafted this bill in an attempt to make the conversion process easier on the largely Russian supporters of his Yisrael Beiteinu party.  But, once it got into committee, MKs representing religious parties amended the bill to give unprecedented power to the Chief Rabbinate which will allow them to impose a strict standard for conversion and give them the power to invalidate conversions they deem un-kosher, even for purposes of immigration.   Earlier this year, PM Netanyahu indicated he would oppose the bill, but he now appears to be wavering.  This has leaders of the non-Orthodox movements very worried and they are lobbying hard to persuade Netanyahu to put an end to this legislation. 

            Please understand that I am vocalizing this rebuke as someone who deeply loves and cares for Israel.  I think that because of the very real and scary threats to Israel’s security, we’ve conditioned ourselves not to be critical of the Israeli government (even when the issue doesn’t concern foreign policy).  But if we love Israel and care about its future and the future of the Jewish people, we must not be afraid to rebuke when rebuke is warranted. When we lovingly express our concern about something going on in Israel, it doesn’t weaken us or give fuel to our enemies.  It demonstrates that we care enough to want Israel to do better. 

              As American Jew who know the value of religious freedom; and as Conservative Jews who stand to lose if that freedom is denied us in Israel, we need to be speaking up about this issue.  Many of you probably saw my blog and facebook postings on the Rotem conversion bill.  If you haven’t, I urge you to learn more about the issue of religious pluralism in Israel.  I hope you will join me in lovingly rebuking the Israeli politicians who are allowing the haredi minority to grab even more power than they already have.  

            Finally, we have to do much more than send letters.  We need to put some substance behind our concern for religious freedom in Israel.  There are a number of things we can do.  We can support financially the small but vibrant Masorti Movement (which is what Conservative Judaism is called in Israel).  Instead of visiting the ultra-Orthodox neighborhoods like Me’a Shearim and spending our tourist dollars in Haredi shops, whose owners distain our practice of Judaism, we should visit Masorti communities like the one our good friends Holly and Phil Seigel just moved to in Kfar Vradim.  We should be careful not to donate to Israeli and American organizations who work to undermine religious freedom and diversity.   And, likewise, we need to urge Federation and other large organizations and philanthropists to direct their funds to Israeli organizations that promote freedom and democracy in Israel. 

            There’s a lot we can do if we’re not afraid of being critical - as long as our critical support is motivated by our love and concern for Israel.

Shabbat Shalom.